50 Days 'Til 50 Day 7--Old Friends

50 Days 'Til 50Day 7--Old Friends“Not for the first time I look backon my first loveUnable to speak or think or movehand in gloveBut what of it now and where is heHe who once meant so much to meBecause we are not, I can't pretendnow old friends”Old Friends – everything but the girlYes, its come to reciting song lyrics…and I'm only 7 days into the 50 of this blog series. This one however just seemed in line with today’s blog by one of my favorite all time bands, Everything But The Girl (thank you Eddie Sanchez and Todd Saunders). I suspect there will be a blog with more song lyrics(and friends) as music has and always will be a big part of my life so stay tuned on that…so lets see…where did we leave off?  Oh yes, the 3-day weekend.I hope you all had a nice and relaxing holiday weekend. I'm happy to report that a 3-day weekend is Bliss! It took me a day to realize I didn’t have anything to do and the next two just to stop, slow down, and enjoy the moments in time that I can so quickly miss or take for granted when I'm running 60 mph everywhere. This weekend was especially nice as I had an old friend from Miami stay with my partner and I here in Palm Springs. We were reminiscing on some of the old days and much to my horror we realized it was almost 30 years ago. I had moved to Florida when I was just barely 21 after having met someone who had sold me on the idea. “Its sunny all the time and the bars and clubs are open until 6 am” he told me. This was pretty much all I needed and off I went. A career path was not what I was looking for even though I had received my cosmetology license just prior to leaving. I just wanted to run, run far away, far away from everyone and most of all from myself. This guy proceeded to be gone in a flash and I never saw him again but there I was, in Fort Lauderdale living the life, or so I thought.Friendships to me from an early age were difficult. I had this dual persona I suppose and although my family name was well known in the town I was raised in I was a painfully shy little boy. My parents owned and ran a hotel, which sat proudly at the head of the town square, and people from all over New England knew of it and would come to patron the hotel in addition to the locals who would come to drink in the bar and eat in the restaurant and swim in the pool during the summer months. My sister and I were always smartly dressed each weekend as we would dine with my parents at the “captain’s table” which would include this weeks friends, relatives, and notables that they chose to join them at the very large table. We were raised very strictly when it came to proper manners. Mr. and Mrs. So and So were the only way we were to address our dinner companions, we were to sit quiet until spoken to, I was to stand whenever a woman would either leave or return to the table, and always be the first to pull out her chair for her. Later in the evenings after each guest was properly smashed, we were called upon to get up in front of everyone and sing a song with the band that was playing for that evening, or dance with one of the much older women or men for my sister. Mortifying for a 6 year old but it seemed to always get a good laugh or a hug afterwards and I think we were both probably afraid to ever say no, regardless of how we felt on the inside. During holiday months, or for my birthday month in August there was always a party being thrown at the hotel or at our house across the street. All my classmates, relatives, friends of relatives and it seemed pretty much anyone was invited to these parties. Again dressed smartly, these town kids and classmates would show up for the event, bringing gifts, and enjoying the festivities that would have been planned ahead of time by my mother and grandmothers. I would look around and see all these schoolboys and girls I would barely speak during school time but out of courtesy they would be invited to attend. The point is I had a lot of acquaintances but very few friends. I guess when you’re six and seven friendships didn’t seem so important to me as just getting through the school day and running home to be in my mothers arms and get a snack or watch some TV. Those were always the times I liked best.In regards to friendships someone once told me that people come into our lives for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime”. I’ve never forgotten when he told me that and even though its another one of those cute little sayings, it actually is pretty true from my experience. There have been people that have come into my life leaving me with a profound experience and are just as quickly gone as when they arrived. There are people who I have known through jobs that I completely adore but never would do anything socially with them and then they were forgotten as I was on to another job. There were the lovers that I would think would be there forever only to see them go out the door one day or sadly in one case pass on out of this human experience. Lastly there is that handful of people that are just there with you always. A collection of various types or people that you’ve either experienced something amazing with, the ones that just get you, and the ones that you can just let your hair down with. I am so blessed to have several of these in my life today. Sure, distance may keep us separated and not having my own private jet (yet) I cant run and see them every 5 minutes, but they are there and they know as do I that even though we don’t speak everyday, they are there. Even when we stray for a while, and we do stray, they always seem to be there for us when we return. I don’t know why that is? I don’t know what made them so special in the first place and how the test of time seems to be of no matter. Lately I’ve been wanting to reach out to these people more than ever. Maybe to tell them something new and exciting that’s happening in my life, maybe it’s to find out what’s going on in theirs. Maybe…maybe I just want to tell them how grateful I am to consider them an old friend.jf