50 Days 'Til 50 Day 31--Blood, Sweat, and Tears

50 Days 'Til 50Day 31Blood, Sweat, and TearsMy partner, Jeff just asked me what it felt like to be 49.93 years old as tomorrow I hit the big 50. I’ve been so busy I haven’t really thought about how I feel. I guess if I’m to be honest. I feel lucky, grateful, loved…all good. Wait. Let me see if I can say it better in song. I’ve been a lover of music most of my entire life. Born in 1964 and not coming out of the birth canal with an iPod strapped to my head I had to do a bit of a quick Google research on the news making musical highlights for that year to find out what was happening that year. It seemed to be a great year for music news. The Beatles performed in the US for the first time. The Rolling Stones released their first album. Placido Domingo made his international breakthrough performance in NYC. The Supremes hit the Billboard top 100 at #1 with “Baby Love.” Bob Dylan released his fourth album. The Kinks released “You Really Got Me.” Simon and Garfunkel recorded their first album with Columbia Records and Fiddler On The Roof opened on Broadway. I knew the 60’s were an iconic decade but who knew? Ironically this list of newsy events probably could sum up my musical tastes for this entire blog, but let’s make it a bit more fun than that.[audio m4a="https://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/3-02-it-had-to-be-you.m4a"][/audio] Music was a part of my life from as far back as I could remember singing “Do Re Mi”. Each weekend at my parent’s hotel was the big Saturday night buffet bash, which always included some form of live music. Partridge Family bands as well as swing and crooner bands from all over New England would arrive in the afternoons to unload and set up their keyboards, drums, guitars, and microphones for what was always to make for a fun evening. Into the evenings after much alcohol had been consumed at my Fathers “guest only” table and throughout the dining room, my sister and I were coerced onto the stage many times to “sing, sing a song” with that night’s band until we were whisked off to our bedrooms when the clock struck 10. Way to late for children to witness all the adult activities. I always wanted to run back and sneak a peek in the door as the lights and sounds would go on until the wee hours of the mornings but I was too afraid. I always remember a stereo standing somewhere in our homes with the prized vinyl collections behind the sliding doors of these monster music machines. I suppose my first memories of songs (besides Do Re Mi) I could hum along to were the classics my parents would listen to. The Sinatras and Streisands, Gershwin and Cole Porter tunes and some movie soundtracks seemed to be on constant rotate in our house. I wouldn’t say my mom and dad were adventurous in their music tastes but they loved the classics, so naturally I loved the classics.[audio mp3="https://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/weve-only-just-begun.mp3"][/audio] I took piano lessons at an early age and my sister and I both sang in choirs in school and in church. Music was all around me.  I remember the day I struck gold. I was given my very own record player that I could play in my very own room. It resembled a small plastic suitcase with a flip top that opened and closed and two very small speakers somewhere inside. It felt like I won the lottery except I didn’t have any records to play on it. I borrowed a “Barbra” record from downstairs and played it over and over again in the solitude of my room.[audio mp3="http://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/barbra-streisand-people.mp3"][/audio] On days when my Mom would take me shopping with her I would run to the music aisle and stare at all the 45’s lined up like soldiers in their paper uniforms. I had no idea what to buy nor did my Mom but I would daringly grab at something that had a pretty sleeve on it or was I name I had heard somewhere before. I think they were about 49 cents a piece which was probably about how many pennies I had in my pocket.  I would hold that thing like it was gold until I got home and run to my room and take a listen. The music world was changing and so was I. I played this 45 until it was played out.[audio m4a="https://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/04-ill-be-there.m4a"][/audio] Into my early teens I was branching out to include the classic rock anthems of the 1970’s, which was almost a prerequisite to growing up in rural New Hampshire. If you didn’t drive a truck, wear plaid, carry a rifle, and listen to rock and roll…well, it just wasn’t done. I found I was drawn toward the bands with the smooth harmonies and beautiful lyrics. America, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Fleetwood Mac, Toto, Chicago, The Eagles, The Doobie Brothers. Of course I got my share of Zepplin, Rush, Boston, and others as well but left to my own I would always seem to venture back to the smoother sounds.[audio m4a="https://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/09-dreams.m4a"][/audio] I love to sing harmony, always hovering a third above the melody or making up my own notes as I go along. I’m one of those you will see singing out loud in my car, lost in the moment, oblivious to what’s around me. Disco was also creeping in and in full bell bottom bliss I would swing my sister around the living room to the sounds of “Dance Fever” on the television. Dropping her on her head over and over as I teetered on my platforms. Ah, the good old days. I had no idea what was about to come to me in the form of music. Thank God it did.[audio m4a="https://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/01-you-should-be-dancing.m4a"][/audio] My final two years in high school were spent in a college town. The college pretty much swallowed up the entire town and you learned very quickly the names of the student halls and dormitory names as you walked through the town. It was almost impossible to navigate away from these buildings. These buildings always seemed to house those forbidden college parties that every university is of course now famous for. As a high schooler you had arrived if you knew someone who knew someone that could get you into these closed parties. Of course my curiosity for what these parties were like and my newfound introduction to marijuana would eventually find me inside these halls and dorms way passed my bedtime. All of sudden I was sitting in the corner of these rooms listening to the sounds of groups called the B-52’s, Romeo Void, David Bowie, Gang of Four, Roxy Music.[audio mp3="https://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/avalon.mp3"][/audio] This was now the early 1980’s. David Bowie had been around already for years by this time but I never had heard him until now. These kids with the tattoos, the blue and pink hair, and pierced lips and ears took me in like a little orphan eager to share their love of this music and of their pot. I was at a bit of a crossroads now. The good boy in me performed in choirs, school plays, and singing competitions around New England singing as much as my bass voice would allow me to. I always tried so hard to reach the notes above middle C and the harder I would try, the worse it would sound. “Open up your throat more, use your diaphragm” my patient music teachers would tell me. Alas it was to no avail. I had to be content sticking to the lower register of my now very deep voice. It was great in a quartet or in a small group of singers, but I never got those prized solo performances as they were all sung so much higher than I could ever reach.   The bad boy in me longed to be with these oddball college kids who showed me this world far beyond what my limited eye had ever seen and heard before. When school ended I was quickly out of the area, with my boombox, batteries, cassette tapes, and my newfound liking to anything with an alternative sound.[audio mp3="http://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/well-i-wonder.mp3"][/audio] I often referred to myself as “alternative-lite.” I never quite fully committed to the full on mohawks and full body mutilations of the punk scene, the sounds of Social Distortion and Black Flag were not on my playlists but I couldn’t stand the top 40 sounds on the radio of the time either although I was fascinated by the visual of it all. MTV anyone? The Stacy Q’s, Company B’s, Expose’s would irritate me to no end. ( I did wear black O rings up my arms though…thanks Madonna.) I guess I landed somewhere in the middle, dare I say the status quo?  Now in Florida my sounds consisted of anything in the dance and new wave clubs. New Order, Depeche Mode, Simple Minds, Bronski Beat, Grace Jones, Echo and the Bunnymen became my stereo staples. I surrounded myself with all the artist and music types that opened my mind and ears up even more. I was a DJ whore. Latching myself onto these God’s of the turntables mainly so I could get a new cassette tape to show off to all my friends. I was just a sponge for it all. Punk, Disco, Dance, Hip Hop, Top 40, Rock, Glam, not so much Country, but my mind was wide open. I had never heard anything like this before and it was a far cry from my am radio sounds of Barry Manilow in my Subaru back in my New Hampshire early days. I was becoming a bit of a music snob by now as well and if you didn’t like the music I liked or that I thought you should like, then screw you. I was 19 years old also and maybe I was a bit (of a) punk.[audio mp3="http://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/ultravox-dancing-with-tears-in-our.mp3"][/audio] Over the years I have been so blessed to have had these experiences with music. I can sit down today and listen to Pink Floyd, Chopin, Everything But the Girl, Andrea Boccelli, or Tony Bennett and be perfectly at peace and moved at times to absolute tears for the beauty and soul reaching music has always given to me. I don’t judge you anymore for your personal musical tastes and for not liking mine. Whatever sounds you prefer music, like movies or a good book, temporarily takes me far away from my ordinary troubles and tribulations, transporting me to a different time or another world. It can provide the solace of companionship for the lonely and lessen my sense of isolation. When I hear such tragic tales and the sorrow they provoke, whether in folk, country, R&B, standards, rap, or rock I relate to the performer and feel myself to be part of the tribe, my collective human family. It opens my mind of my constant spiritual quest. It makes me stop and think and feel. If you have ever listened to the Cocteau Twins and not thought of heaven at least once than I hope you listen to something that does.[audio m4a="http://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/03-bluebeard.m4a"][/audio] Listening to these tunes feeds my soul. Music makes me want to dance, in a joyous, spontaneous expression of life. itunes tells me I have over 6K songs on my computer and a box of CDs still waiting for their transfer. I don’t know if this is a lot or not? I do know whatever I decide to play transports me, makes me be aware of, makes me dream. It makes me feel connected on the deepest level for this human condition we all share. I am grateful I have the ears to listen to all this music with. I am grateful to all of you who share your favorite songs with me, opening my mind even further. I sit in wonderment at times of the songwriters who can tap into their deepest emotions and bring it to light for all of us to hear.  I thank you.[audio m4a="http://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/01-save-me-1.m4a"][/audio] I just saw a story on the TV about these new 3-D printers. Pretty mind boggling to think that in a few years we can clone ourselves in plastic and plop our doppelganger in the passenger seat of our cars so we can speed through the carpool lanes. Maybe this printer can make me my own personal DJ, or at least a new record player…and the records.[audio m4a="https://joshefuller.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/10-come-on-home.m4a"][/audio]jf