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50 Days ‘Til 50Day 35Resting Bitchface SyndromeNo, I don’t think this is an illness that your HMO will cover or that you’ll be able to call in sick to work claiming you’re suffering from but I quickly became obsessed and wanted to share with you my findings. Now of course I know this isn’t a real illness, or is it? Resting bitchface syndrome. It does sound pretty real. Apparently it was real enough for these two ladies to make a video about it which I came across today on Facebook. Having heard of it before and seeing a skit on Saturday Night Live a few years back I never thought much about it, just laughing at the skit and the genius mind behind the whole concept. Before I go on, here’s the link to the video if you want to take a look before we continue. Scroll down to the video that is described as “Im sure thats an HR violation.”https://m.facebook.com/restingbf?refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&_rdrI know the world is now obsessed to the point of entering treatment centers over Selfies. The word has even found its way into Webster’s dictionary and Kim Kardashian will now score another gazillion dollars on a new book she’s putting out. Not a book about how she could be using her celebrity to do good in the world, or saving the polar bears, or reversing the climate change. It’s not even on how to do a proper ice bucket challenge, which seems to me to be so up her wheelhouse. No, it’s none of these. It will be a book of…you guessed it. Photos of herself. Page after page of her own Selfies. Since this probably won’t be a book featured in Oprah’s book reading club, I’ll pass on this one just in case any of you out there are already doing your early Christmas shopping. So before I wrote this I had to take a few Selfies. Probably for the writing it would have been best if my partner or someone else had taken it without my knowledge as I was trying to figure out my what my own resting face looked like. You know the face. The one you have when your zoned out in front of the TV, or trying to look interested over dinner with people you have nothing in common with. I wanted to see if I could take an objective look at my own face in this resting phase and make sure to watch out for any side effects of this new syndrome. Now, we can’t even just sit there and do nothing without worrying about what this new syndrome is doing to me and God forbid, those around me. Nonetheless, it’s here and needs to be looked at more closely or suffer the consequences of The Resting Bitchface Syndrome.First off, as grateful as I am to have a smart phone, it is now responsible for me wasting even more money as my Olympus camera and all of its accessories now sit in my desk drawer not having seen the light of day since my 45th birthday. This camera sits next to the one thousand personal checks I ordered (so I wouldn’t run out), and various CD and DVD parts, cables, and instruction manuals. I’m thinking I need a new bigger desk. Or will the smart phone just hurry up and do everything for me already? Again, I love the phone, however I do dislike very much the reverse camera lens on the phone. It shows me a reverse picture of myself. So if my nose was on the left side for the picture its now on the right side looking back at me from the phone. At certain times when I'm forced to use it, I almost don’t even recognize myself. Maybe this will come in good in trying to be critical of my resting face. The first thing I notice is my wrinkles. (OK, this is for a whole other story.) What I notice next is I’ve never been a wide toothed grinning smiler. Those of you who know me will know when I’m happy but an ear-to-ear grin with full teeth is just not part of my repertoire. My teeth aren’t bad or anything and I still have most of my original ones so I presume it’s just the way my face shape, structure, and DNA laid it out for me. I admire a beautiful smile just like the next person but it doesn’t feel right on my face. Kind of like squeezing into pair of jeans that’s 2 sizes to small. I can get away with it, but they won’t look natural and won’t be very comfortable wearing them for a long time. I would have never been a good game show host. My natural face does look a bit stark. My lips have a bit of a downward turn at the edge of my cheeks and I suppose if you didn’t know me, you could perceive me to be sad or unhappy in that moment. The only thing is, I’m not sad or unhappy. In fact if you could see my resting face right now, I'm laughing at what I'm writing, answering a few text messages, enjoying my late Saturday afternoon. I’m actually quite content even though I guess I now look like a bitch.I suppose it’s just the human condition. I don’t remember ever not looking at something and not having a preconceived perception or judgment over it. I’ve tried very hard my whole life to live consciously trying not to do this. If anyone has accomplished this, then I commend you. It is not easy for me. I used to blame it on the fact that I am a hairstylist. When I would meet you for the first time, in the flash of a second while I was shaking your hand, I was judging your hair, giving you a makeover, and patting myself on the back for a job well done. You would never know this and it’s almost as if it was happening without my permission. People tend to make me laugh. That’s about all there is to it. I see people and I’m instantly amused at their looks, their individual style, their aura, their quirks, their hair. It’s as if I assigned myself the position of comptroller of the entire universe. Quite frankly it’s an exhausting job. Now, let me say most of the time I don’t do it with malice or anything other than just observing however it is something that many times completely stops me dead in my tracks. I will be in line at the grocery store having already scanned you up and down and just waiting my turn and you turn around and say something to me. One woman asked me if I had a few extra pennies to help her make her bill. Another man asked me if I knew how to brown pine nuts he had ran out to buy for his wife who was making some over the top dish for her guests that night. Another time someone just agrees with me about a purchase I’m making letting me know “how delicious those corn chips are.” It happens to me many times in my business. A client will come in for a haircut and by the time they leave I feel like I’ve just been through a therapy session with Carl Jung. I am blown away at the pearls of wisdom that come out of peoples mouths when I just take the time to move out of my own way and listen. I suppose it’s in these moments when I am my most real. My veil is lifted, my guard is down and my perceptions have been completely squashed. These strangers have exposed me for my subconscious judgments without even knowing that they were. Maybe they were also judging me and our two judgments crashed into each other in mid air forcing one of us to open our mouths and say something. Maybe it’s my need in that moment for some human interaction. Maybe I’m just constantly learning about myself through everyone I meet. It seems the ones I judge the harshest, most of the time come back and set me right. I often wonder how many wonderful gifts and lessons I have missed out on because I’ve judged you or were too busy to stop and listen to you. I have been healed so many times in this lifetime when someone just stopped and listened to me. They don’t always even have to have the answer. They are just there, present, willing, and open to listening.Someone told me when this happens to start looking you in the eye. I was always looking up or down or sideways. I started doing this. Now when I would meet you I’d look directly into your eyes. Sometimes you are looking up or down or sideways too. Sometimes you look directly back into my eyes and sometimes we don’t even have to say anything. The conversation already happened in those few seconds. The eyes can tell the story I have been told many times and I believe it. So when I'm just sitting there with my resting bitchy face on, I’m not always angry or upset or sad. I could be contemplating life. I could be annoyed that I’ve just wasted an hour of my life watching some mindless TV show. I could be thinking about what I’m going to make for dinner. I could be thinking about nothing. And lastly, maybe, just maybe I’m giving you a new haircut.jf