50 Days 'Til 50 Day 24--Inked

50 Days ‘Til 50Day 24InkedEditors note: This was a repost from New Years, a year and a half ago with some small edits. It was probably the first time I had written something of some length and thought and probably got me headed in this writing direction.A dear friend of mine said to me one day, “Josh, your emails and messages are so long. Just stick to the point and the facts and leave it at that.” She was right, except I haven’t quite learned to do that yet. Could this be a resolution for me? Ugh. So on I write.As I read all the wonderful FB messages for the New Year, the only thought I kept having was “wasn’t it just September?” It never ceases to amaze me each year, and we always say the same thing, "where did the year go?" I’ve learned over time there are definite natural ebbs and flows during the year yet it does some how feel sped up during certain times of the year. You’d think it would just feel normal by now. One of my clients at work today asked me what my tattoos meant that I had painted down the back of my neck. I paused for a second and then chuckled to myself as I had always said to myself that I would only use something that was extremely special to me if I was ever to get a permanent adornment on my body. For a few seconds I drew a blank in my explanation.As an artist I always admired the art form of the tattoo. In my early years I didn’t think to do it, as it always seemed like it was something extremely special and unless you were a biker or a rock star, which I was neither, I wasn’t to have one. Also they weren’t as common as they are now. I did pierce my ear, dye my hair black, and always had black eyeliner with me, but none of these were as permanent as a tattoo. My first, I remember was done in San Francisco with my dear friend maybe Amy Nash, now some 20 years ago. I had a card that I carried around with me in my man-bag for years (literally years) that had the Chinese symbol for the word "Love". I was just drawn to it and knew in my heart if I were to ever get one it would be this. We were walking through the Haight and she said to me, "here’s one of the best tattoo parlors in the city", pointing to a small storefront. We were probably on our way to get food and I had no intention of becoming inked on the spot. I thought this was something that you planned out for years, made an appointment, had the appropriate amount of numbing paraphernalia in you and then went for it. Some things happen in life very quickly so in we went and she held my hand through the whole process. It was surprisingly easy and almost painless and I knew it was right. The word love was emblazoned right over my heart forever. Amy and I were like brother and sister back then, for probably almost 12 years. Sharing some of the most amazing times together and for all intensive purposes, we grew up together. Her path would eventually take her around the states; she got married, has 3 beautiful children with her husband Tony, and now lives in Singapore. Her children speak fluent Mandarin, which blows me away and I guess there is some irony there getting a Chinese symbol as my first tattoo. I miss her dearly. It’s time to reconnect.So I said to my client “the three symbols mean Courage, Strength, and Hope.” He nodded and said “right on”. Remember I do live in California now. At least he didn’t say dude. (Oh wait, that came later on.) I suppose these next three inks are a sort of code of living, a recipe of how I try and live my life on this earth, a reminder when shit hits the fan, or not, that with these four simply complicated words, practiced with fierce diligence, I can weather any storm that may cross my shores. Clients don’t really like when you lift your shirt in the middle of their haircuts to show the other tattoos, so I opted to not and just to leave it at that. I chuckled again realizing that if these symbols were so important to me, why did I put them on my back where I cant see them? I’ve had to use all of these this year in different capacities. Courage to start the year off year, putting my foot down and telling MY truth in my work environment, no matter the consequences. (I was fired for that btw.) Starting anew, at 48, pounding the pavement, suiting up and showing up as they say and being led to a great workspace that I adore today. Strength to persevere through some tricky times that have rocked me to my core. Hope to understand that whatever this life may bring, whether big or small, without hope I have nothing.Lastly, love. For isn’t the love of those around you that gets us through in the end? I experienced a lot of love this year. To my families near and far, who at the end of the day love me in spite of myself. To my friends who are strewn all over the globe, to be blessed to know and have known you all in whatever capacity it is or may have been. Those random small moments that just lifts your spirit through another day. Those friends that will set me right when I’ve wanted to go wrong. Lastly, to my partner Jeff, my rock, my confidant, my best friend, my blanket of love who teaches me each day how to be better, that I can always do more for the common good and grounds me when I want to pole-vault over an anthill. Sometimes he even allows me to teach him. So my wish to you all for the New Year is that you may have courage, strength, hope, and most of all love in all its forms, when its needed, and even when its not. Thank you to you all for showing me the way. Onward and forward and Happy New Year!jf